So, I hit the 200lb mark! I am so excited! I’m hoping that when I come back on Sunday, though really Monday, because I won’t weigh myself Sunday, I am fully under the 200lb mark! My next goal is 195. Little goals…that’s what I think I’m going to try for because I’m just getting upset with everything all the time! I’m so happy that I got there though. I’ve been so careful with what I eat for obvious reasons…No alli-oops though! Go me! Hopefully I’ll feel comfortable putting up pictures soon. Love you and thank you again for your support!

So, I made it through the first day of alli with no alli-oops as I guess they are called!  I’m so happy!  We even went to Blue Hills for a four hour hike and I brought extra clothes just in case and I didn’t need them!  Good thing to, we were pretty in to Blue Hills at some points of the day and I had left the clothes in the car!  I was so careful with everything I ate!  I got on the scale this morning and it said I lost 2.2lbs, but I think I only lost .2lbs, but I’m still happy!  I only say that because yesterday I was just under 202 lbs and today I was about halfway between 201 and 202, so that doesn’t look like 2.2lbs to me.  I could be wrong, but my BMI went down and my weight is going down.  Could I have found something that will really work?  I was so good about everything yesterday and so proud of myself for it!  Have a great week all!  It’s a busy one for me so I don’t know how much I will be on to report, but I will tell you more soon.  Love you!

So I am starting on alli today and Eric is starting on it tomorrow.  I have lost some weight with the pills that I was taking, but this is the only FDA approved one and I would like to lose more.  Everyone keeps warning us about the dangers of alli, but I figure, if something is going to make me go to the bathroom if I eat something I shouldn’t, it might keep me from eating that thing.  That can’t be a bad thing.  Hopefully the side effects don’t turn out to be as bad for me and it just works because in my head I know that I shouldn’t eat certain things due to the side effects.  We will see.  Wish us luck.  Oh and I’m starting just under 202 pounds (in my head I’m really just over 201 but I guess the wii said I was closer to 202 than 201.

I’m not sure where I’m at today with my weight, etc and I probably won’t get on the scale tomorrow, but I got compliments today on how I looked from some people that I haven’t seen in awhile and it felt so good! It was a nice thing to have people say things about my weight. Thank you!

So just a quick thing as I haven’t written anything lately, but one of the woman I work with walked by me today and said that she could notice I’ve been losing weight and Eric stares at me all the time and told me its because he can notice the inches coming off on my waist! I’m so excited!!

I am so struggling with my weight and it’s just driving me nuts. I keep getting close to that under 200 mark and it’s like someone doesn’t want me to get there and it just stays above that mark. I worked out at the gym last night and still gained .7 lbs. I know it could be muscle, though I also know that going to the gym one day a week doesn’t put on muscle. I’m not that naive, but it just feels like whatever I do, it doesn’t do anything. I actually took Healthe Trim for awhile, but I gained the most weight with that. I’m now taking something else, but it just doesn’t seem to work. I was honestly hoping that it would make my brain think it was doing something and maybe the weight would drop, but it’s not happening. I need to be more vigilant about getting to the gym. I would just like to see it start working. I would like to be under 200 lbs enough that I can say I’m not going between 199-203 (though right now I would like to say I’m at 199, but I can’t say that either). It’s so hard to get to that point and it really kills me. I look at everyone around me and I’m so jealous of their weights. I keep saying that I don’t want to get to Florida with my family and have people question what the whale is doing on land (I know that my family would never question that, so please don’t think I think they would. It’s the others around). I was at Walmart yesterday and saw all these cute shorts that I want to be able to wear. I want to feel comfortable in all my clothes and for the most part, I do, though I wore a dress yesterday that I loved, but if you didn’t know me, you might ask when the baby was due. Why do we do this to people? Why do we put so much emphasis on weight? I just want to be happy as who I am and for the most part, I am but there are some things I just want to be able to fix. I was small like Brittany at one point and I don’t think I want to be that small right now, I want to be comfortable. I think I would be happy being a size 14 all the time (I did fit in one pair of pants, but I would like to fit in all of the 14) even though my resolution was not to buy clothes until I was a size 12 (we also know that that didn’t happen either). I guess for now, I go on taking my pills (whether its right or wrong, I’m going to take them), drinking lots and lots of water, get to the gym more and eat as healthy as can be. I always believed that once in awhile you should cheat, as you would crave the chocolate or burger constantly if you don’t eat it making things worse, but maybe I shouldn’t do that. That will get pretty boring pretty quickly though…