Beware of the Fork Forager, the Spoon Sandbagger, the Plate Pirate, the Bowl Bandit and the Cup Crook. We have them running around the house. I have two forks in my silverware drawer for a family of four. Where did they go? Bowls disappear though I currently have 6 in my cabinet. Thankfully the plates are in good supply so they don’t run out. Cups, I am down to the cups we get from businesses or coffee cups. Spoons come and go, sometimes I have five or six in the kitchen, other times we are down to two or three.
Who takes them you might ask…I have my suspicions. I have an artist rendering of what the thief might look like.
When asking the “victims” in the house (Brittany and Zachary), the answer always comes out as one of two things: “It’s not me” or “I don’t know”. I want to keep my loved ones safe from this swindler, this buccaneer but the evidence points in other directions:
So I ask you – is the evidence clear? I believe it is. I believe the thief, or thieves, is right here in my very own apartment. Is any utensil or place setting safe? Should I begin to only keep the paper and plastic varieties in my home and get rid of the glass, ceramic and silver version. Sometimes a paper plate just doesn’t hold as well as a nice ceramic one. And on the rare occasion that we eat at the table, it looks much better set with our mismatched plates as opposed to the boring white paper variety. Then there is the red Solo cup, though very nice, we don’t even buy the Solo variety, it’s usually Wal-Mart or whatever store brand I might see. So I must say, if you see either of the faces below, keep your utensils in plain sight, count all your cups and hide the plates. You don’t want to this to happen to you.
